Perquam Dissolventur Tulipa


barbeauxbot:

ylixia:

canolacrush:

mazarin221b:

knackorcraft:

For the record, I find Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines morally reprehensible (but incredibly catchy).

This Weird Al version made me laugh and laugh and laugh.  It speaks to my inner English professor.  

I almost choked to death trying not to laugh out loud watching this at work earlier today.

God bless you Al Yankovic, you’ve taken a catchy yet disgusting song and actually made it catchy and enjoyable.

memorydragon bless you for bringing this to my attention

Bless Weird Al for making this masterpiece

Bless

I am like hardcore anti-prescriptivist and I actually enjoyed this Weird Al is a wizard


Via Ave Atque Vale

If My Dog Could Talk

  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......
Via Tea Books and Blankets

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

Via hey

eziocauthon89:

I don’t know which is the “correct” answer, but I know which one I’m going to use from now on

(Source: i-remade-fffffuckkkkkkkkk)



okaysizedbangtheory:

who you gonna call

(Source: stevesfriend)



theenigmaofriversong:

Watch Karen Gillan’s Hilarious Freudian Slip

That is one of the most well delivered jokes I’ve ever seen.

(Source: karengillandaily)


Via TheSmellOfBooks

yeezus-fish:

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
image

Via hey





(Source: end0skeletal)



(Source: andrope)


raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.

Via Ave Atque Vale

(Source: texas-redneck)



foodishouldnoteat:

if you love food follow my blog!




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